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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23711692">Parallel Reunion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/polymona/pseuds/polymona'>polymona</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dwarf (UK TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Parallel Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 21:01:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23711692</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/polymona/pseuds/polymona</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place immediately post-The Promised Land, so- spoilers. </p>
<p>In helping Rimmer and Lister to clean out the bunkroom, one of the many cats discover the Holly Hop Drive buried amongst all the junk.</p>
<p>Moments later a ship blinks into existence alongside Red Dwarf that looks suspiciously like the Wildfire, but its passenger is not what they expect.</p>
<p>The wheels are in motion to make a return trip to the Parallel Universe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dave Lister/Arnold Rimmer, Deb Lister/Ace Rimmer, Deb Lister/Arlene Rimmer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Parallel Reunion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Inspired by tumblr posts suggesting that the next RD special should involve a return to Deb and Arlene's universe.</p>
<p>Assumes this Rimmer is the original hologram who went off to be Ace for a bit and returned at some point only for them to never mention it again for whatever reason.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Rimsy, Rimsy, Rimmer!" The many cats danced merrily and sang before their new god.</p>
<p>Lister rolled his eyes and shook his head, but couldn't help but keep a slight grin at Rimmer's elevated mood. His moonlight was positively glowing for a change.</p>
<p>"Oh holiness," one of the cats, Sister Luna, asked of the beaming hologram, "before we go, is there anything more we could do for thee?"</p>
<p>"Well," Rimmer began, nostrils flared, tapping a finger to his lips thoughtfully, "actually, now that you mention it-"</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Hey, hey I need that!" Lister pleaded as another cat pulled another piece of junk from the pile and gleefully skipped away.</p>
<p>"No you don't," Rimmer replied off to the side to his bunkmate, nodding to another feline bowing at him before leaving the room clutching a chest full of new treasures.</p>
<p>"Thank you, oh holy one," another excited cat meowed, bounding into the bunkroom, "you are most generous to share these shiny things with us!"</p>
<p>"Yes, yes, get back in the queue," the hologram gestured to the feline, waving them back out, as the others who were patiently waiting their turn glared. "There is plenty for all. I am after all a benevolent god."</p>
<p>Lister sighed and grumbled as his carefully stacked hoard of crap was slowly diminished one item at a time. The line of cats stretched from the entrance of the bunkroom, snaking all the way through Red Dwarf to the cargo bay.</p>
<p>It was then the Scouser noticed a particularly bulky cat had hoisted up his beer fridge and was making for the exit.</p>
<p>"Smeg!" Lister yelped. "Not my mini fridge. All my beer is in there!"</p>
<p>"Let it go, Listy, you drink too much as it is. You'll be better off."</p>
<p>"No!" He replied. Then a noise caught Lister's attention. He turned to his side and noticed a couple of cats whispering in front of Rimmer's bunk, rummaging through his papers and stuffing some into their robes.</p>
<p>"Your <em>holiness</em>," Lister called out to Rimmer, pointing to the lower bunk, "those two are making off with your swimming certificates."</p>
<p>"What?" The hologram yelped, rushing to stop the two cats at the door. "No- no no no, you can't have those!"</p>
<p>"But mighty one," the felines purred, "I thought you said any of the treasures in this room was your parting gift to us?"</p>
<p>"But these are mine! These are the originals," he pleaded as the two cats tried to make a break down the corridor. "I can get you a notarized copy! Kryten! Kryten! Where is that bog bot?"</p>
<p>While Rimmer was distracted, Lister managed to sneak out and catch up to his beer fridge. </p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Oh holiness what wondrous object is this?" Sister Peanut purred, pondering over a familiar square box she had just pulled from the bottom of the last remaining stack of garbage.</p>
<p>Lister glanced over from his bunk, which he was thankful to finally be able to properly fit in again, now that all the boxes had been cleared off.</p>
<p>The Scouser's eyes widened at what the feline was holding.</p>
<p>"The Holly Hop Drive!"</p>
<p>Lister jumped down and grabbed the box, as Rimmer appeared and shooed Sister Peanut away. Without thinking Lister immediately pressed the START button. Nothing happened.</p>
<p>"Hol, why isn't it working?"</p>
<p>"Sorry Dave," Holly replied, appearing onscreen, "it's been in storage so long that its internal battery has died. I'll have to reset it."</p>
<p>"It runs on battery?" Rimmer complained, "Why does everything around here depend on shoddy smegging batteries?"</p>
<p>"Wait, if you reset it," Lister asked hesitantly, "will it still take us to the same place as before?"</p>
<p>Holly looked away, guiltily and did not answer.</p>
<p>"That's it then," Lister said, slumping onto the ground, defeated, "that universe's coordinates are lost forever."</p>
<p>Moments later, the viewscreen in the bunkroom buzzed as Holly cut out and an image of Kryten appeared instead.</p>
<p>"Sirs, you'd better get up to the main control room, a ship has just appeared."</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Is it another one of the cat ships?" Lister asked as all the Boys from the Dwarf crowded into the control room.</p>
<p>"No, sirs, you'll want to see this," Kryten replied before he punched up the image on the main viewscreen.</p>
<p>The Cat grinned widely, "Hey isn't that-"</p>
<p>Lister studied the ship on the screen and then slowly looked over at Rimmer.</p>
<p>The hologram looked like he was both about to spontaneously combust and trying very hard not to react at all.</p>
<p>The ship onscreen was clearly the Wildfire.</p>
<p>"Rimmer, man," Lister began slowly, carefully, "Is it possible you were fibbin' way back when- when you got back- from you know where- when you told me that you went and erased all your memories of Ace?"</p>
<p>"Who?" The hologram yelped, eyes darting about before suddenly finding the ceiling extremely interesting.</p>
<p>"And that actually, in reality, you just didn't want to talk about it?"</p>
<p>"Talk about what?" Rimmer said, his voice going up several octaves with each word.</p>
<p>"Alright, alright, Big Man, be that way," Lister sighed heavily.</p>
<p>"Sirs, we are being hailed," Kryten interjected as several indicators on the console started beeping and blinking.</p>
<p>To their surprise, a female voice answered.</p>
<p>"Hiya gents, mind if I park my ship in your docking bay?"</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>The Boys from the Dwarf rushed down to the docking bay to meet the Wildfire as it landed.</p>
<p>While they stood there waiting for their mysterious guest to finish parking procedures, Cat spotted some movement at the opposite end of the bay.</p>
<p>"Hey, monkeys," the feline said, leaning over to Rimmer and Lister, "ain't that your sofa?"</p>
<p>"What?" the hologram replied, as he and his bunkmate looked over just in time to see their precious sofa disappear into the shuttle of the last small remaining group of feral cats yet to leave.</p>
<p>"Smeg!" Lister exclaimed, watching helplessly as the cat shuttle lifted away and was gone.</p>
<p>"I left those cats alone for two smegging minutes!" Rimmer groaned, "It took us forever to haul that down from the officers deck."</p>
<p>"Oh sirs, I'm sure we can find you another one," Kryten comforted.</p>
<p>"But I loved that sofa," Lister lamented, "we had some good times on that sofa."</p>
<p>"Indeedy," the hologram agreed.</p>
<p>The Cat wrinkled his nose with disgust.</p>
<p>But, they would have to mourn the loss of the sofa later, because the hatch of the Wildfire finally whooshed open, and the pilot hopped down to greet them.</p>
<p>The woman, sporting a shiny spacesuit and matching helmet, made her way over to the guys.</p>
<p>"Dave Lister I presume?" She asked, offering out her hand to the man.</p>
<p>"You know me?" He replied, tentatively shaking her hand. The visor of the pilot's helmet was too dark to see inside.</p>
<p>"Only by reputation," the woman responded.</p>
<p>"Who are you?" Rimmer demanded, eyeing the stranger skeptically. She still had not removed her helmet.</p>
<p>"Before that, let me ask," the pilot began, turning to Lister, "are you the same Dave Lister, who thirty some odd years ago, met one Deb Lister and subsequently gave birth to twins named Jim and Bexley?"</p>
<p>Lister froze at the names of his sons, mouth slowly falling open.</p>
<p>"Yep, that's him!" Cat interjected.</p>
<p>"How did you-" Lister started, before excitedly asking, "Are you from the Parallel Universe?"</p>
<p>"Yes!" She responded, pumping her fists into the air. "It worked! The Wildfire brought me to the correct universe coordinates!"</p>
<p>"Do you know Jim and Bexley? Have you seen them? Are they doing alright?" Lister asked rapid-fire.</p>
<p>"Why are you here?" Rimmer interrupted, glaring at the lady, still unimpressed. This woman had better not be getting Lister's hopes up for nothing.</p>
<p>"I bet that, just like in our universe," the stranger explained,  "you've just found and restored Holly's disk, as well as have rediscovered the Hop Drive?"</p>
<p>"That is correct, ma'am," Kryten added.</p>
<p>"Brutal!" the wildfire's pilot exclaimed, "That means I should be able to rig the Wildfire's dimension jumping systems to your Hop Drive in order to force it to jump your Red Dwarf to my universe's specific inter-dimensional signature!"</p>
<p>"Run that by me one more time," the Cat said, baffled.</p>
<p>"I'll get to see Jim and Bexley again?" Lister asked softly, feeling that feeling that he had not felt in so long that he almost forgot what it felt like- hope.</p>
<p>"That's the plan," she replied.</p>
<p>Rimmer studied her, skeptically.</p>
<p>"I'm not sure if I even want to know," the hologram began slowly, "but are you the Ace Rimmer of your universe?"</p>
<p>The stranger laughed, "Oh no, nothing like that!"</p>
<p>"Oh good," Rimmer sighed.</p>
<p>"I'm his daughter."</p>
<p>The hologram blinked rapidly, his image glitching out slightly.</p>
<p>"Hey, she broke goalpost head!" Cat pointed with a grin.</p>
<p>"Huh, what a guy," Lister nodded, taking in this new information. "Rimmer man, you alright?"</p>
<p>The hologram was still frozen in place, muttering to himself, "Ace Rimmer had a-"</p>
<p>"So what do we call you, Ma'am?" Kryten asked.</p>
<p>Completely avoiding the mechanoid's question, she pointed over at Rimmer, "Is he going to be alright?" </p>
<p>"Yeah," Lister replied. "Just a bit of shock, that."</p>
<p>"<em>I should probably keep my helmet on then</em>," the pilot said softly to herself.</p>
<p>"What was that?" Lister asked, not quite being able to hear.</p>
<p>"Nothing. Nothing," she said quickly. "We'll have plenty time to play twenty questions later once we are back on my universe's Red Dwarf." <br/>
<br/>
~*~</p>
<p>"Rimmer, are you alright?" Lister asked, entering the bunkroom.</p>
<p>"Am I alright?" The hologram huffed, arms crossed. "Stupid smegging Ace Rimmer one upped me once again, hero, space adventurer, and now apparently father? It makes me sick."</p>
<p>"How many times do I have to say, he's <em>you</em>- or was you. You have the same genetic makeup. That woman in the docking bay right now, working with Kryten to hook up the Hop Drive to the Wildfire, is basically your daughter. Isn't that something to be proud of? Somewhere somehow an Arnold Rimmer, even if it was Ace, became a father."</p>
<p>Rimmer eyed his bunkmate, mulling over his words, his expression starting to soften. </p>
<p>"I guess I had not thought of it quite like that," the hologram offered finally.</p>
<p>"See? I thought you always wanted to get married and have a family and all that smeg. Sure, she's from a parallel universe, but it should count for something."</p>
<p>"Hm," the hologram pondered, "she's still hiding something though. Why won't she remove her helmet?"</p>
<p>"I dunno. Bad hair day?" Lister suggested.</p>
<p>"Or tell us her name?"</p>
<p>The Scouser replied with a shrug.</p>
<p>Rimmer jumped up from his bunk and wagged his finger in the air as a light-bulb metaphorically went off above his head. </p>
<p>"I bet that gimboid Ace Rimmer shagged a GELF," the hologram accused.</p>
<p>"What?" Lister balked.</p>
<p>"I bet she's some hideous half-GELF, half-human gelatinous ape with tentacles wriggling about crammed inside that space suit."</p>
<p>"Rimmer, what the smeg," Lister groaned, putting his head in his hands. "Sometimes, you're impossible."</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Would you like to do the honors, Mr. Lister, sir?" Kryten asked, handing the newly updated Holly Hop Drive, including a set of freshly installed batteries, over to the man.</p>
<p>"Oh hey," Lister said, lifting up the box to examine it, "it's got a third button now." </p>
<p>Sure enough, the device now sported a RETURN button jutting out of the side. There was also a new lengthy cable coming out of it. </p>
<p>"We had to run a wire directly into the Wildfire's systems," the mechanoid explained.</p>
<p>"Kryten, are you absolutely certain this is going to work?" The hologram asked.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Cat added, "how do we know that pilot-babe didn't wire this up to turn us all inside-out?"</p>
<p>"I triple checked everything with Holly," Kryten replied, "all calculations appear correct."</p>
<p>"Well," Rimmer began, looking over to Lister, "You sure you're ready for this?"</p>
<p>Lister paused and fished around in his jacket for something. He pulled out the old photo of him holding Jim and Bexley right after they were born.</p>
<p>"See you soon boys," he said, firmly pressing RETURN.</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Did it work?" Rimmer asked, glancing around.</p>
<p>"Hol?" Lister began, "Hol, did the drive work- are we in the other universe?"</p>
<p>The viewscreen buzzed to life, but instead of where Holly's face would usually appear, there was just darkness.</p>
<p>Cat cocked his head to the side, "What's that sound?"</p>
<p>"Computer, increase volume," the hologram commanded.</p>
<p>Distinct giggling and whispering could now be heard through the screen.</p>
<p>"Holly, stop canoodling and get up here!" Rimmer exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Oh," Holly's blond female counterpart said, popping up on the screen, "long time no see."</p>
<p>"You are a sight for sore eyes," Lister said, smiling. </p>
<p>"So, it worked?" The hologram asked.</p>
<p>"Yep," Holly added, appearing finally-covered in lipstick marks-next to Hilly, "We're here."</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>Cat was the first one to step off of Starbug and into the parallel universe's Red Dwarf docking bay.</p>
<p>"Oh <em>god</em>, what is that smell?" The feline screeched, nearly doubling over.</p>
<p>"Sorry, Cat," Deb said, quickly approaching. "There were just several hundred Wild Dogs in this docking bay. Luckily for you their last shuttle is about to leave."</p>
<p>Two dogs in the opposite corner of the bay were in the middle of loading a few remaining items onto their ship when they spotted the Cat.</p>
<p>"What is <em>that</em>?" One of the dogs barked to the other, pointing directly at the feline.</p>
<p>"Oh no," Cat said, all of his hairs standing on edge all at once.</p>
<p>"Let's take turns smelling its behind!"</p>
<p>Cat promptly bolted in the other direction.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Lister, Rimmer, and Kryten stepped out of Starbug just in time to see two large canines run right in front of them, chasing after Cat, the feline screaming loudly in terror.</p>
<p>"Don't worry about them, they'll be fine," the female hologram assured them, stepping forward.</p>
<p>"Arlene," the hologram greeting with the traditional Rimmer salute, "a fine uniform you have there."</p>
<p>"Arnold," she responded in kind, dressed in a matching blue. "Splendid to see you again."</p>
<p>"Deb!" The human took his counterpart by the arm, and she pulled him the rest of the way into a hug.</p>
<p>"Dave, it's good to see you." </p>
<p>Kryten eyed his counterpart, perplexed. </p>
<p>"Camille?" He asked tentatively. </p>
<p>"Camille? I am not familiar with this designation," the female shaped mechanoid replied. "My name is Krytie."</p>
<p>"I'm Kryten," the mechanoid sputtered. "Apologies, it's just that you have approximately the identical configuration of someone I knew long ago."</p>
<p>"Oh, right," Deb added, looking over at the mechs, "I almost forgot they weren't here the last go around. The more the merrier, eh?"</p>
<p>"Where are the boys?" Lister asked excitedly.</p>
<p>"Dad?" The group parted to reveal the two young men.</p>
<p>"Jim! Bexley!" Lister cried, as they both pulled him into a big group hug.</p>
<p>He looked up, taking in the faces of his sons. It was like looking at himself in a mirror, when he was still a younger man, if all his features had been mashed up and slightly rearranged out to two different people. Jim was slightly taller and thinner, while Bexley seemed to have inherited his gut.</p>
<p>"Do you remember me?" The proud father asked finally.</p>
<p>"Course we do!" Jim replied.</p>
<p>"How could we forget?" Bexley exclaimed.</p>
<p>"I never thought I'd see you again," Lister sniffled, hugging them tighter. "You've barely aged a day."</p>
<p>"If I may," Krytie explained, "due to the unusual circumstances of their birth and the incident of their accelerated age, their bodies subsequently overcompensated for that once returning to their home universe, leaving their physical age now to be approximately twenty-five years."</p>
<p>"Boys, I've missed so much, I want to hear everything that's happened from the moment I saw you last. Any pretty ladies try to knock you up yet?"</p>
<p>"Dad!" Bexley balked.</p>
<p>"You're alright old man, you're alright," Jim laughed.<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>Meanwhile, the two Rimmers stood slightly off to the side in order to observe the multi-Lister-ugly-crying-hug-fest from a safe distance.<br/>
 <br/>
 "I see you got your hard light drive," Arnold commented.<br/>
 <br/>
 "And you as well," Arlene replied.<br/>
 <br/>
 "And diamond light?"<br/>
 <br/>
 "Oh yes."<br/>
 <br/>
Moments later, the Wildfire finally arrived in the docking bay, setting down right next to Starbug.</p>
<p>The two holograms turned to look.</p>
<p>"So, what's the story there?" Arnold whispered to his counterpart, nodding towards the ship. "How'd that woman end up with you lot?"</p>
<p>"Ah, she didn't tell you, then," Arlene said, crossing her arms.  "You'll find out soon enough."</p>
<p>Rimmer caught a glint of something on his counterpart's hand when she moved her arms.</p>
<p>"Are you wearing a wedding ring?" He asked incredulously.</p>
<p>"Yes," she replied, nostrils flailing. "Why, you don't have one?"</p>
<p>"No," he replied, perplexed. "Wha-"<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"Speedy, you're back!" Jim yelled suddenly, he and his brother parted from their father momentarily to rush over to the exiting pilot of the Wildfire.</p>
<p>"Took you long enough, sis," Bexley added, as Speedy hopped down from the ship and removed her helmet.</p>
<p>"Sorry, sorry, I had to unhook all the drive cables from the Wildfire's engines first!"</p>
<p>"You could have just taken Starbug with the rest of them," Bexley replied, waving his arms at the green ship.</p>
<p>"Didn't think of that," the pilot responded, as her brothers pulled her in for a group hug, "but, hey I got your dad home."<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"Sister?" Lister repeated slowly, before looking over at Rimmer who was also staring.</p>
<p>"Speedy?" The hologram exclaimed.</p>
<p>"Mum!" Speedy shouted, running to give Deb a hug.</p>
<p>"Hang on a mo-" Lister pondered.</p>
<p>Deb looked over to see the gears slowing turning in Dave's head. </p>
<p>"What?" She asked finally.</p>
<p>"You shagged Ace Rimmer?" Lister exclaimed.</p>
<p>"A bit," Deb shrugged. "I mean, have you seen him? What a guy."</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>The two holograms took a walk to Red Dwarf's observation dome.</p>
<p>"It was a little over a year after the boys were returned to our universe-" Arlene began to explain to Arnold. "The Wildfire appeared out of nowhere, the ship was horribly damaged, sending out a distress signal. We took Ace Rimmer onboard-the smarmy charming git."</p>
<p>"What a cheeky bastard," Arnold added.</p>
<p>"I know right?" Arlene continued, "Anyway, Deb fell for his charms almost immediately and she ended up bedding him, despite my best efforts to advise her against it."</p>
<p>"Ugh."</p>
<p>"And of course she got him pregnant after just the one time. Deb has some very potent eggs."</p>
<p>"She got him pregnant? Hah!"</p>
<p>"Did you suddenly forget how this works here?"</p>
<p>"No, it just sparks great joy imagining that macho buffoon waddling about heavily pregnant."</p>
<p>Arlene grinned at the memory, "I must admit that was a delightful sight to behold."</p>
<p>"So, then what happened?"</p>
<p>"His ship's extensive repairs were completed shortly after the birth and as soon as he was able to- he legged it."</p>
<p>"No." Rimmer said in feigned aghast.</p>
<p>"Yes!" Arlene replied. "It was challenging to raise three children on our own-sure Jim and Bexley were adult sized, but they still had a lot of catching up to do. Dog was a surprising amount of help in those early days when I still couldn't touch anything. He especially bonded with the boys."</p>
<p>Arnold continued listening intently.</p>
<p>"In the end, what nearly tore me and Deb apart, ended up bringing us closer together," Arlene admitted, absently feeling of the ring on her finger. "While I will always love Jim and Bexley as my own, Speedy is effectively my flesh and blood- your flesh and blood, even. So I can't fully regret all that happened. We have quite the family now."</p>
<p>The hologram nodded, talking it all in.</p>
<p>"So, Arnold, I have to ask, did your Lister and Ace ever-"</p>
<p>"God no, but the looks they gave each other- disgusting, absolutely putrid. Barf-city. I bet he would have. Listers will bonk anything won't they?"</p>
<p>Arlene nodded, "Herself."</p>
<p>"Himself."</p>
<p>"Ace <em>smegging</em> Rimmer."</p>
<p>"Me," they said in unison.</p>
<p>"I'm shocked mine never had a go at Kryten what with all his groinal attachments," Arnold added. "Would you believe I once saw him having it on with a vending machine?"</p>
<p>Arlene grimaced.</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>Deb offered Lister a beer as they both took a seat at the small table.</p>
<p>"You and Arlene are married?" Lister asked.</p>
<p>"Yep, we just had our twentieth anniversary," Deb replied, showing the matching ring on her finger. "Do ya mean to say you and your Rimmer aren't-"</p>
<p>"We're uh- he's well- um-  it's like this-" Dave fiddled with his hands, trying to find the right words. "It's hard to explain, me and him. Sometimes its good-really good. And other times I let the emptiness of everything get to me, and I go and fill our room with junk and drive him away. The rest of the time I wonder why I love the smeghead so smegging much."</p>
<p>"Don't worry," Deb comforted, "Arlene can be just as much of a smeghead and I still married her."</p>
<p>"Why does it have to be so complicated?" He lamented.</p>
<p>"It doesn't have to be. We are all the same people really, parallel universe and all that."</p>
<p>"But you have Jim and Bexley and Speedy-great name by the way. Back home its just us."</p>
<p>"You know, I don't see why you couldn't just all stay here if you wanted to- in this universe. Or at least, with the tech from the Wildfire combined with the Hop Drive you can theoretically visit anytime."</p>
<p>"How'd you end up with the Wildfire by the way, I thought Ace left with it?"</p>
<p>"Right, but a few years ago, it reappeared. But this Ace was a different one- he wasn't human, he was a hologram- damaged, dying."</p>
<p>"Looking for a replacement?"</p>
<p>"Exactly. Guessing something similar happened in your universe?"</p>
<p>He nodded.</p>
<p>"Well, his lightbee failed before we could get any other information out of him. Arlene was furious."</p>
<p>"I wonder," Lister said softly to himself, "if that Ace was the same poor sod who dropped my Rimmer back on Red Dwarf-"</p>
<p>Deb continued, "the Wildfire sat in the hold for months gathering dust before the boys came up with an idea. Jim and Bexley took apart that ship piece by piece and put it back together. They've become quite accomplished engineers through the years. You should be proud."</p>
<p>Lister beamed.</p>
<p>"Anyway, after they finished working out the engines a few months ago, Krytie theorized that since the Wildfire had visited us, it must have visited you. Sure enough, we found multiple signatures in its logs that matched your Red Dwarf's readings from back then. Speedy immediately volunteered to take the Wildfire out for some experimental test drives-she's quite the pilot.  It all came together once we got Hilly back, along with the Hop Drive. You know the rest."</p>
<p>~*~</p>
<p>"Listy?" Rimmer asked, glancing into yet another room, finding it empty. </p>
<p>Hearing a mechanical whirring noise down the hall, the hologram walked a little further and opened the storage closet only to find Kryten and Krytie looking highly suspicious. Krytie was obviously hiding some sort of tool behind her back and Kryten was hastily covering some exposed paneling.</p>
<p>"I don't even want to know," Rimmer's nostrils flared with disgust. "Just don't get pregnant," he added, wagging a finger at Kryten before turning to leave.</p>
<p>"But sir, that's not how-" the mechanoid was cut off as the door shut.</p>
<p>Rimmer frowned, glancing about the empty hallway,  "Holly, where did Lister run off to?"</p>
<p>The viewscreen lit up, but was completely empty beyond the faint sounds of indecent smooching.</p>
<p>"For smeg's sake," Rimmer complained. "Where did everyone go?"<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>The hologram turned another corner and caught the sounds of laughter and conversation.<br/>
 <br/>
He peeked in the doorway and saw a bunkroom much larger and nicer than he and Lister's back on their Red Dwarf. But it was still filled with many of their familiar keepsakes.</p>
<p>It had two sofas that faced each other around a small table, and there sat Dave, Deb, Jim, and Bexley. Lister was happier than Rimmer could remember seeing him in recent memory. He was getting to know his sons, making up for all that lost time that he missed. A big family reunion.</p>
<p>"What does he need me for anymore?" Rimmer said softly to himself with a heavy sigh, backing up into the corridor, and leaning against the wall.</p>
<p>"Same reason my mums need each other," Speedy added walking towards him. She stopped, matching his position, leaning against the opposite wall. </p>
<p>Rimmer looked across at her. He could not get used to looking at her face. She looked too much like Lister when he was younger, but she had the signature unruly Rimmer hair and stared back at him with his own eyes.</p>
<p>"What do you know?" He said flatly.</p>
<p>"I know you're sort of my dad." </p>
<p>"That's a <em>big</em> sort of." He added.</p>
<p>"I hope it's alright to ask, I've been meaning to- that is- what can you tell me about my father?"</p>
<p>"Ace Rimmer?"</p>
<p>She nodded.</p>
<p>"Why don't you just ask your mums- or your brothers?"</p>
<p>"It's kind of a taboo subject."</p>
<p>"I can see that. Jim and Bexly used to be a taboo subject with Listy, but look at them now. I'm genuinely happy for him."</p>
<p>Speedy continued to stare at him expectantly.</p>
<p>"Alright, alright," the hologram sighed, "Ace he-" God, he was never going to get through this with a straight face. "He was- well, he was a charmer. Dripping with charisma. Smegging resourceful. He would enter a room and just take control of a situation. Daring. Brave I guess. A real smegging hero. Lot of good all that did <em>you</em>. He left. Maybe he had a good reason. Maybe he had to go save the potato people of Nylon 4 from certain doom, but it's more likely he was more like me than he thought he was. Just another bloody coward."</p>
<p>After a moment, Rimmer looked up from the floor and met Speedy's eyes. She was giving him a look he couldn't quite read.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I-"</p>
<p>But before he could finish, she had jumped over and hugged him tightly.</p>
<p>She pulled away and smiled.</p>
<p>"What was that for?"</p>
<p>Then just as suddenly, she took his hand and pulled him into the bunkroom to join the rest of the family, squeezing themselves onto the sofa next to the Dave and the boys.</p>
<p>"Family photo time!" Deb shouted, as Arlene appeared, handing her a camera.</p>
<p>Arnold barely had enough time to register what was going on as Dave wrapped a arm round his shoulder and pulled them tighter together so that they would all fit in the picture.</p>
<p>"Say Cheese!</p>
<p>"Cheese!" "Cheese?"  "Um, beer!"</p>
<p>From this precious time together, Rimmer and Lister would hang a new permanent photo on their bunkroom wall- of Jim, Bexly, Dave Lister, Arnold Rimmer, and Speedy all crowded onto a single sofa.</p>
<p>After she finished snapping all of the photos, Deb paused and asked, "Does anyone hear that?"</p>
<p>Everyone in the room in turn glanced at the doorway just in time to see-</p>
<p>"Yeeeeoooooow!" The Cat yelled zooming past the bunkroom in a blur. "Heeeeeelp!" He cried,  followed by the sound of barking dogs.</p>
<p>"Oh eh. I thought all the dogs had left by now," Deb shrugged, "Oh well."<br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>"What now?" Jim asked.</p>
<p>"Who's up for a rousing family game of Risk?" Arlene suggested.</p>
<p>"Me!" Arnold exclaimed, throwing a hand into the air.</p>
<p>Jim and Bexley groaned.</p>
<p>"Really, babe?" Deb sighed.</p>
<p>"Yes," Arlene insisted.</p>
<p>"I'll play," Speedy offered.</p>
<p>"How about it, Listy?" Rimmer asked, shifting on the sofa.</p>
<p>The Scouser looked pained, "I prefer Mine-opoly."</p>
<p>"Come on, dad, please?" Bexley begged, "Take our place, sacrifice yourself for your long lost boys."</p>
<p>"Bex, stop being so dramatic," Jim complained.</p>
<p>Lister looked over at Rimmer and saw that he looked genuinely hurt.</p>
<p>"Hey man," the Scouser said finally, giving Rimmer's leg a gentle squeeze, "You know what, I'll play."</p>
<p>"Really?" The hologram replied, a smile creeping onto his face.</p>
<p>"Yeah."</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Apologies to Ace Rimmer.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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